I Miss You

It's been almost four weeks since you were born

It's been almost four weeks since you died

I miss you

I miss you so much

When we were separated

My body longed to care for you

My heart longed to beat beside yours

I am so lonely for you

This morning I looked up at our skylight

I watched a single ladybug crawl slowly across the window

And I cried

I cried because I miss telling you about the world

I cried for all the ladybugs you'll never see

I sat beside the Christmas tree

And I cried

I cried because I wanted to spend this Christmas with you

I cried for every Christmas we won't be together

I cry for you often

I cry for everything we had

I cry for everything we'll never have

And I know things will get easier

But this winter feels unending

The coldness of your absence makes my heart ache

And I know you are now living in perfect eternity

But it feels as though you belong with me

In my body

Or in my arms

And I'm trying to accept that you're gone

But I miss you

Your life changed my life

So I grieve for you

Because I read that grief is the cost of loving someone

And I loved you so deeply

And will love you forever